Divorce after baby? How to keep it together.

Today I wanted to talk to you about how difficult it is to enjoy spending time with your husband once you have a baby. Even the best matched couples are going to fight. The struggle is real 🀣πŸ˜ͺ. After that first baby is born it all goes to SH!?!T🀣

The word divorce gets thrown around the room among other things maybe πŸ˜‚. At the end of the day all you want to do is sleep. You wished you would enjoy your marriage a little more and deep down you know you want to be together. If this is the case and you know you want to spend your lives together then read on if this is not the case and something inside you is telling you this is not the man I want to grow old with then get the hell out of there. You should not stay with someone just because you have a had a baby together. Its not a valid reason. Yes sure it makes it more difficult to leave but where there this a will there is power.

Now to anyone that is still reading, has had a recent baby and is fighting like crazy but knows they want to make it work, find below my 4 steps:

1) Expect this not to be easy. Lack of sleep, lack of time, less money and a whole lot of stress are going to make this marriage difficult. Hence step number 1 mentally and physically prepare yourself for it. Find time for yourself to take a step back, manage your outbursts and just do something you enjoy. 1 hour a day is all you need. Ask for family members to help out or if you can afford a babysitter now and again that is ideal. If you are happy within yourself, your husband will be happier too.

2) Avoid saying things you will regret at any cost. Words have a big impact on people and some may never be forgotten. Also they loose their meaning if you say the same things too often such as ” I want a divorce” etc. Your husband won’t take you seriously and will just ignore what you are saying. This is never a good thing as men aren’t always the best listeners anyways so if they are actively ignoring your words and thoughts and just not taking you seriously then it will be even more frustrating.

3. Find some time just for you as a couple to strengthen your marriage. Again we have the time issue I am aware of this but if you can’t commit to at least one hour a day to some baby free time then you don’t have your priorities right. You don’t need do anything in particular but even just lay there together while baby is napping, talk about your day, eat something, watch a movie, go for a walk ( if you have someone to take the baby obviously haha) Don’t just walk out the house and leave the baby in the crib, even though it is tempting at times 🀣.

4) Now we should be slowly getting on track. Everyone always thinks they are doing more than the other person for the family but in fact most of the time, each of you is putting in their equal share. Try to remember all the things your partner does and be appreciative of it. According to some studies not feeling appreciated is one of the biggest reasons for divorce. I can definitely see how that might be a true fact.

Hope you enjoyed reading my ultimate steps to a happy marriage with baby. If anyone has any other tips I would love to hear from you guys. Comment below and follow my Instagram @jazzy.la.fata.di.moda if you want to see regular updates πŸ˜‰

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Travelling with a baby

Life doesn’t stop when you have a Baby but it could if you let it. Babies take up all of your day, hence doing anything out of your ordinary routine takes a lot of motivation, organisation and planning. However it’s all possible once you are prepared. Here are some tips when travelling with a baby.

1) Give yourself plenty of time to get ready and packed. If you think you need one hour to get ready add an extra 30 minutes to that because for sure the baby will have a poo or vomit just before you walk out the door 🀣 and you ain’t wanna miss that plane ✈️.

2) Be prepared for a crying baby in transit. Have something you know will calm your baby if he/she starts crying: pacifier, toy, bottle or breast.

3) Try get the baby to sleep as much as possible even if it’s just on you. An uncomfortable adult is a much better option than a cranky baby πŸ˜‚.

4) Take it easy, don’t stress and just go with it. Your routine will be disrupted but who cares. Sometimes it’s the only way to get from A to B. Flights at 3am in the morning might be unavoidable but hey if you can avoid it, I suggest you do. Anything to make your trip easier! And remember you can always get back to your routine once you get back homeπŸ‘.

Being dairy free, how difficult is it?

I did a 100% dairy free diet for 4 months and I can tell you it was not easy at all, especially at the start. I would have never eliminated dairy out of my diet if it hadn’t been for the fact that my baby suffered terrible reflux due to a milk protein allergy. Now I never actually got this certified from a doctor but we just figured this out ourselves from what we observed. If you guys would like to read a post on how we knew it was milk protein allergy let me know below as I know reflux is something many babys struggle with and can cause so much stress in families.

Anyways I eliminated it from my diet and I mean ALL of it. Dairy is literally in everything and is very hard to avoid. Its not just obvious milk and cheese products that you need to avoid but also things like whey powder which is found in many baked goods such as cookies. Basically anything sweet went out the window

After 1 month of reading labels of everything I managed to find substitutes. Lucky enough I live in Asia so milk and cheese isn’t very popular here anyways. Also I live in Bali where vegans enter food heaven, as it is full of healthy vegan cafes that do amazing tasty food.

I found a great healthy food store that provides many dairy free options for me. All their food is produced sustainable and is additive free. If you happen to live in Bali check them out, they are called Alive wholefoods

So let’s get down to what I ate:

Coconut water and coconut milk in my breakfast cereals. Vegan chocolate. Dips such as this one above made from beetroot and cashew nut. Cashew nuts are great to create a creamy flavour. Also lived of coconut cream which I added to nearly everything πŸ˜‚ especially great in coffee and homemade sauces.

However as far as cheese goes, forget it! Could not find any good substitute. Just ate more things like hummus, salty snacks and leafy green vegetables to keep my calcium up. This you need to keep in mind that you will loose out on a lot of calcium, hence I added more fish with bones into my diet.

All in all I am no longer 100% dairy free as my baby has outgrown his intolerance, but still am avoiding dairy where I can without necessarily going extreme and reading every food label. I now prefer the taste of coconut milk and cream to standard milk. I also noticed how my body has improved without dairy in my life. In conclusion being dairy free is extremely difficult at the start, but after 1 month you get used to it and you find your substitutes. So if you guys are thinking of giving it a try, go for it and let me know how it goes 😘

The need for extra vitamins while breastfeeding?

I’m 6 months into breastfeeding now and I’m starting to feel a little under nourished. I eat my 3 healthy meals a day plus snacks. I’m drinking a load of water and having young coconuts at least twice a week. Its only now that I am starting to feel slightly dehydrated and started getting headaches. Hence I ordered myself some breastfeeding vitamins online, but it’s going to take at least a month before they arrive. In general it seems a breastfeeding mother does not need extra vitamins as long as her diet is good. However I read some articles online about essential vitamins for breastfeeding moms and found this one quite helpful. It seems the vitamin B’s are very important during breastfeeding. They are water soluble and are meant to help increase breast milk . Vital in converting food to fuel and generally improve your mood and energy. In my opinion I don’t get enough of vitamin B’s. I am not currently eating Dairy and don’t eat a lot of meat and feel that my baby and my body could benefit from some added B vitamins.

I decided to try a IV Infusion vitamin B complex at Eden life centre in Bali.

It was my first time to try an IV Infusion so I wasn’t sure what to expect. However it all went very smooth. It was quite relaxing to sit there and let your body get nourished straight through your blood. Its just a little prick at the start and then it’s absolutely painless. The vitamin B complex is added to a saline solution which in itself is very hydrating. When breastfeeding it is essential to get enough fluids so I’m sure this can only help. Currently I’ve not had any headaches since, however I have also upped my water intake. Basically just drinking fluids all day long πŸ˜‚

What do you guys think about getting extra vitamins while breastfeeding? 😘

Bedtime routine skincare

1) I cleanse my skin: I have several different things I use for this. I like to alternate between a gentle oil cleanser (I use kiehls oil cleanser for this) and a water based cleanser. I find that alternating between these two my face gets just the right amount of cleanse 😜.

2) I use a Face scrub sometimes, maybe every 3-4 days depending on the scrub.

3) I give my face a good splash of Rose water. Currently using this one by kiss scrub Laverne. It leaves my face feeling fresh and revitalised. Also great for a quick pick me up during the day when it’s really hot. I live in Indonesia so it tends to get insanely hot sometimes 😰.

4) Next I usually use some type of oil or serum. Alternating once again between them. Face serum from mademoiselle kelapa and currently obsessed with my grapeseed oil by kiss scrub laverne. It really is an all time wonder oil, as it treats acne but at the same time hydrates your skin. Both products are all natural and gentle on your skin πŸ‘.

5) And if I’m feeling particularly dehydrated I will throw some Nivea on top. However usually the oil or serum is enough. Wouldn’t wanna go overboard now would we? πŸ˜‚

What’s you nighttime skincare routine. Would love to know. Any particular products you love?

😘

Baby’s first food (under 6 months)

Do you have a Baby that’s constantly hungry and you feel like your Breastmilk is not enough? I know I do! My little baby boy is 5 and half months now and I have started giving him solids from the age of 4 months. I started with just some pieces of fruit that he could suck on. Dragon fruit, water melon and Pear. We live in Bali, so lots of delicious exotic fruit on hand. πŸ™ŒHe loves all of it πŸ˜‚

Then at around 4 and half months, I started giving him smashed up avocado, pear , papaya, banana and baby millet porridge mixed in with a bit of formula for extra nutrition. Some people prefer to give them veg first, as it’s less sweet than fruit.

From my personal experience avocado, Pear and pumpkin is great as a first food, also quite low in allergic reactions too.

If you think your Baby is ready for solids go for it! (Mama knows best 🀣). Be creative and have fun with it. Wait 3-4 days after each new food to see if there is any allergic reaction ( usually a rash).

However if you don’t have time to make your own food you can always get others to make it for you πŸ˜‚.

If you are based in Bali or are planning a holiday here with a Baby or Toddler, I can recommend Mini mighty muncher. All their food is organic and delicious ( even for adults πŸ˜‚). They also provide vegan options. Here is a pic of my little sweetheart enjoying his pureed pumpkin from Mini mighty muncher.

Xxx

My skincare routine

To have fabulous skin at 30 you really do need to start putting in a little bit more of an effort. Let me give you a list of my top 5 skin rules to live by:

1)My number one as got to be: Keep your skin hydrated at all times. I tend to use Nivea for this most of the time as it’s cheap (so I can use loads of it) and doesn’t irritate my sensitive skin in any way.

2) Keep your skin protected from the sun and other environmental abrasives. I use clinique superdefense with spf 20. I’m a huge Fan of this day moisturiser. However I definitely don’t use all of Clinique’s products as they are quite expensive and frankly speaking not quite worth the money.

3) Use serums for extra hydration and nutrients. Currently using Mademoiselle Kelapa’s face serum @mademoiselle_kelapa Its organic and made of all natural ingredients. It is really working well on my face. Been using it over a week now and I do think it has made my skin smoother.

4) A weekly Face mask is great to destress not only your skin but also your mind. Currently using a great cocoa and peppermint flavoured one by @havannatural After I hit 30 this is something I added to my regime. It leaves my skin looking refreshed and energised.

5) A weekly Face scrub is a good idea to give your skin a thorough cleansing specially if you are prone to spots and blackheads. Currently interchanging between Mademoiselle Kelapa and Havananatural Face scrubs. Both really natural and not harsh on your skin. Nothing worse than products that irritate your skin. Hence I always look for products that are as natural as possible and for sensitive skin.

That’s all for now. See you next time x

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